Unconditional

He calls her his word but she is only his whisper. Beckoned when needed, never wanted, her soul withered. Loveless she thought, but this is the love that once made her quiver - earth shaking romance and timeless butterfly jitters. Dolled up dates and bright-light adventure. He used to say i love you in epic moments together. Sharing together was her pledge to his offer of forever. Now todays have halted in body and soul conquers.
He says I love you with a fist that swings and sways so loud, she could no longer confuse his actions with his vocal sounds. The bruises, she maintained, were chosen love notes. An i love you here and I need you there, her body tweaked from all his care and at times she thought his love would be the death of her. And he found time to write her daily, over dinner mishaps and misinterpreted sayings; his ego and pride co-authored his behavior. Love notes, she pleaded, so others wouldn't try to save her.
He calls her his word but she is only his whisper. In a dark corner in his mind he replays how he hits her. To ease his conscious over what once made him quiver - childhood screams from a mother jilted by jitters; a man who hit to make her come hither. He all too well remembers that abuse growing up- an emotional cycle he thought had made him tough. Yet he circled that same cycle to cover up the bad stuff. The pain and cries from his fathers 'unconditional' love..what always smothered his mother with scars and yet she never had enough. Love, he knew, was supposed to be rough.
He called her his word but she barely screamed or whispered. When he loved her too much and couldnt contain his temper. He flalled with his heart and struck with his furor. She whimpered to get away but he insisted on he wanted to love her. And teach her for good that his way was for better; the better of she, he and their warped forever.Yet his best was simply a burst of too much versus her enough. Not the eternity her little girl dreams were made of. And with that he sufficated the life of their together. She was unable to make it through his past, his hurt, his cycle of its never...enough. Love, he knew, was supposed to be too much.

Another Maybe

Maybe theres another way. Another chance. Maybe time has confused the present and the past,let them overlap and grasp at another hope. Another point of view into what was may blend and reshape itself into what may be. Maybe. Can you see what I see? A once upon a one time thing morphed into a full time swing and then crumbled into never-again-will-that-be-happening. Or will it? Maybe its different this time. The cosmos predict a greater incline and if ever, nows not that the time to resign on what may be. Maybe? Or...maybe Im readig my aquarial assessment all wrong. Conveniently placing you in my maybe future when you have been 'gone' all along. Off on your own may be and yet without me tagging along. Maybe you have forgotten our sentimental secrets...our memorable keepsakes...our unspoken ethos. Our effortless bliss. Maybe where greatness once stood lies a greater good in our solo stints. You vs. I in less of a competition but more of a cry for what was, but never realized and now we are back to synthesize the original errors made by both sides. Maybe? Though our mindsets and situations are worlds away, Im wondering maybe,just maybe, your closer now than ever before to being more than an eternal maybe...

Sandman

♥'s flirting with sleep so much - he's amazing. All day he teases me with hints of whats to come and I often yawn heavy and breathless in anticipation; every night we cuddle inbetween the covers while I lay blissfully in his seduction. Hours pass and moments lapse and I fall for his warmth while he eases my soul from the daily grind and I love him all the more for it; as if there were a love more necessary and sincere than this one. I need him, maybe more now than ever, and he needs me to need him. Thing is, how do you committ to a man who cant committ? Like clockwork, hes gone by sunrise to lull someone else all the way around the world,coddle their dreams and count their sheep, and Im left, drowsy through my day and wishing on shooting stars for his return. I guess its just beautiful as it is now - hes mine for a few hours and I'll take it. We whisper zzz's and smile sleepily and simply are..fleeting as it may be. I already know I wont last long with a man that cant last long...
Sandman, babe... I'll see you again soon

Mixed Media Girls.

Mixed Media Girls.

At the moment

The scene is set to once again exit this chaotic labyrinth I'm in
Beautiful concrete whispers that hypnotize my skin, I tingle
Lights. Laugther. Love. Life
and deeper I'm lured.
Again I attempt to defend my sanity waning against the whimsical whims of this hasty sour apple to pleasure my senses and my curiosity beyond belief
but,
I fail and I flee for the nearest bridge to hurl to some sort of sanctuary...yet with all that is surrounding me, I'm still deep in my solitude from this city. Surrounded by water, an exit can be tricky. Millions of beings but I'm everlastingly empty. Hungry for someplace or something that fits me. A boroughed re-entry into my dreamed fantasy...
Until then, lost in my mental mystery of this mecca on an island, where all roads lead to crayon paths of confusion, I'll retreat to keep wanderin. Searching, searching for the nearest exit back to reality.

A Free Negress of Remarkable Talent

Im a free negress of remarkable talent. At least thats what they tell me. They say Im boundless. I may just have to consent to agree. I am boundless. Eclipsing even myself to surround success and pounce without a moment to hesitate...yet I digress. They tell me Im free to be whoever I please... me, myself and I simply want to be FREE. Unattached to orthodox and uninhibited by regularity. Without race, gender or reverting to simply appeasing thee. You dont like it? Take a hint and recede to the masses of 'us' - where conformists and naysayers find their way among the judgmental musk. Rank and reclusive with your swaying finger in my face, yet never face me in the same space. You speak of what you must - but I say Im free. Not held within some box or quota stagged by others or myself. Partially belonging to a society with its sovereignty, all the while my soul and intentions go rogue; I physically rest in between... a consistent tug-of-war. I speak and write deliberately; Dont ask about me if your not ready to receive all my ideas and thoughts; wrong or right they are mine to hold. Secrets and sadness, potential schemes untold all uniquely molded to me. I am boundless. One in a billion and you can count on this. There will never be another I who can make you laugh or make you cry - hold your tears while you learn to fly, and all the while you miss me. Miss the talent I possess or the sass thats clever and jest or the independence that I carry within every breath. This is me. Good or bad, with varying degrees for indecisiveness and subliminal uncertainty. I think I am, I think I am has surely transformed to YES!, I is she and she is boundless. A free negress of remarkable talent, that is.

Call me a revolutionary

Call me a revolutionary, call me a dreamer; but really, Im just waiting for the world to change. Waiting for the masses mindset to rearrange - for the bottom to be the top and for the top to be untamed. Endless,boundless and blissfully reclaimed by the better thoughts and ideas that float around us, subtly dubbed insane. Great madness and whimsy from rational minds to persuade the big and the restless to do what's humane. To do for others as you would do for yourself - no more more no less and anything selfless would be success. Longing for the hearts to do what they can and take the stress of cruelty off of man; I is not we and truly we is the apart of a bigger plan. People stare in recluse, thinking this impossibility is surely the thoughts of a madman. The novice words of a free-man, sans reality, in a world where the average is caged in. And thats fine. Maybe they arent meant to be, at this time and place in our current and history. But I'll tell you what - you can always find me, waiting for the world to change...