You've Got Mail...Forreal

New day. New news.

I learned today about an...interesting website that allows people who think they may be infected with an STD to anonymously email theirs sexual partners to get tested. These 'warning' e-cards come in a variety of captions; some flirty like "Hey the other night was great but I think I may have given you a little something extra", to blunt like "I have this itch...you should get checked out". Ok so those aren't the exact captions, but I saw a few - they are pretty much on that line. The website was started by gay men in San Francisco and is now in 10 major states across the US. In fact, if you receive one of these lovely notifications, at the bottom of the card they provide a link to mapquest where the closet clinic is to you. How convenient, no? You can email casual partners or your primary partner; its anonymous email - do both. Its not like your paying for postage...
Personally I think this idea is genius in the way it allows people with the fear of embarrassment and guilt to still do the right thing and inform their partners of their sexual health; especially if there is a problem. I'll be honest: If I had to confront someone and tell them "Hey, so this crazy thing happened...and well, I think I have syphilis, so you should get checked out", I would be beyond mortified. Still, Im the last person to want to be ignorant about my sexual health and could never put someone else's life in my hands. Ever. Thats just not fair. But not everyone is always careful and responsible with all the wonderful assortment of protection we have available to us - men and women alike - so this website allows people to try to alert the booty calls and retify the already awkward situation. You can even email them at 2am, if that tends to be your normal 'operation' hours. If you really think about it, the best part of people informing people is that it may help avoid one of those nasty STD's getting to you. In fact, an email may save your life. Hmm...never thought of it like that huh?? The always applicable golden rule in life is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and to put that in 2008 terms for those of us who spend so much time texting we dont really know wtf unto actually means: "we need 2 tlk. I thnk sumthin mayb up N u nd to kno". Yes....much better.


...in case you need it... www.inspot.com

What are the odds?

The news has been really amazing lately! No - strike that - UNBELIEVABLE is a much better word. I'm not talking about the election (p.s vote Nov 4th) or the weather or even the out of control fires in Southern Cali. Nope, there's even more in the world to be shocked at.

A few days ago, I read on CNN.com that there was a 105 year old women in England. No shes not dead. Shes quite healthy and vibrant actually. WoW, you say! Hold that thought: did I mention shes 105 and a virgin? An unpopped cherry, an unscrewed cork, a 'cat' that hasn't been scratched if you get my heavy drift. She actually credits her remarkable age and vitality to her celibacy saying she 'just never had time to deal with a relationship'. What were you doing, curing cancer? She said that around the age of 12 she decided she was NOT going to get married and back in her day (many many many days ago) women didn't have sex without being married. Thank gosh were over that inconvenience. So since then she has been keeping busy with the usual things people do when they are avoiding sex like the black plague (which she also was around for):

1. Serving in the Egyptian Army during WWII
2. Working as a secretary
3. Working as a housekeeper
4. Denying rumors your a homosexual and that's why your not married {before it was 'allowed' by Prop 8 (so far)}
5. Mowing your lawn until the age of 90 ( nah not that lawn, shes a virgin remember!)

All curiosity aside, I do wonder how she went so long without even a hint of the male wonderment. Did she not get lonely? Sad? Horny? Maybe she just never needed a little handy work around the house...

To fast forward, to something a little more, 2008-like: A 22-year old woman and her (now o-shit o-shit o-shit) 28-year old fiance just had beautiful, healthy identical triplets. Oh how wonderful, you say. Hold that thought: She has consistently been on Birth Control, the Pill, and was actually using it at the time of conception. The medical miracle of a woman getting pregnant while on the Pill is an astounding 1 to 2%, giving a small error margin for various 'Pill' variables; that's 2 out of every 100 women. However, the odds of having identical triplets...priceless. 200 million to 1 to be exact. Those are Michael Phelps swimmers her fiance had going there. I think something that remarkable has to be fate. An interesting way to carry it through, but fate nonetheless. Couples often try and try and try and cant make it happen, and here comes triplets for a couple that was actually trying to responsibly prevent it. Ironic. That's how life works. Still, every happiness to them.

Maybe the virgin can babysit...we know shes not getting any

Big Apple anyone?

The idea of New York living has been crossing my mind now for several weeks. And while I have officially decided to 'do the damn thing' and relocate there next year, i do (occasionally) wonder what I will be leaving behind. Maybe who I'll be leaving behind?? I've made my life here, a home grown Cali girl, fresh from the land. LA and OC have always been my haven and I feel incredibly comfortable. Safe. Secure. Even with my family across the country...this is home. But I have this irking feeling that there is something there in New York for me...waiting and longing for me to come. Between the lights of Manhattan and the streets of Brooklyn, I can see myself there: writing, living, discovering 'me' where I never thought I could. Where I've never actually been. Where my home has never been. Ever. But where I strangely feel I belong. Its weird, even strange, to have SUCH a feeling to want to be somewhere that you actually plan to move there. You see, Ive already mentally changed my address: changing my car lease, speaking to my college professors to take the right classes and transfer them to the East coast, and looking for preferred areas to live. So with ALL this in mind, you would wonder why this small doubt I have, this minute hesitation of the smallest proportions would be bothering me?And I cant quite place it...but i think the one from my past is tugging at my heart...still...and it hurts.

Im thinking of a master plan

So THATS how she comes up with all those phenomenal answers...

A little about me

I want to be famous. I want to make more money; I want to eat whatever I want, when i want it ( damn it!)
I want a house in the South of France...and never have enough time to go there because Im too busy with my penthouse in NY...which i only use when im not partying and crashing at my condo in LA
I want several dogs; a few rat ones and most definitly the big, over protecting ones. Variety is the spice of life. I want tons of clothes...but nothing outrageous or too expensive. nah- just a million pairs of jeans and sexy t-shirts that make me look like I only took 10 mins to get ready ( HA). i want messy-crazy-sexy bed hair everyday!
I want gorgeous skin I never have to do anything to...i want to only carry lip gloss. Fuck a wallet or Id or car keys...wait- I need a car. Ok- jus two keys. 1 for the car,1 for my houses. I want to pay for things in hugs and 'I owe you's. I want my friends to be happy and secure for as long as they are willing to be happy and secure. I want more smiles from the world.
I want to not worry about clocking in on time or taking exactly an hour for lunch. I want to not worry or weigh which is more important, gas or lunch?? I want to call whoever and whenever from whereever and think 'fuck the minutes and hell yea im roaming,t-mobile'. I want to go to the ATM machine and keep pressing zeros........
I want to travel to Dubai and Tonga and Morraco and South Africa and Germany and see all of majestic Russia and drink their vodka and come home still drunk from the whole experiance. I want to take my mom. I want to have a reason to own clocks with different time zones. I DONT WANT AN ALARM.
I want to cure cancer and hunger and AIDS and breast cancer and all the illnesses inbetween...I want to make people happy, even if it means me coming second. I want my sisters to never be heartbroken, and even though its bound to happen, I want to be the person they come talking to. I want to meet Oprah; especially during her Christimas episodes ;-). I want to speak another language.
I want to write books. I want to write screenplays. I'll write brochures as long as I get to put thoughts to words, words to fluition. I want to write like Maya Angelou and Shel Silverstein and Langston Hughes, and in 50 years, have someone say they want to write like me.