Im Sorry To Say

I have turned against the media. Not a full turn away from it, but in this moment, I no longer view it like the idol I once did. I say this because of the current events in the news. The saddening events. The news of Rihanna and how her life has been put on display for all of us to judge and scold as we see fit. Excuse me while I step off my own pedestal, because I am no one to judge anyone, if for no other reason than I am not perfect myself. Yet, because of her status as a 'pop princess' and 'fashion icon', the title of 'domestic victim' has also been stamped on her forehead more prominently that her own name. And by no fault of her own - no one truly knows what happened that night in Chris Browns rented silver Lamborghini, but the marks and bruises evident on her early February face say enough. Assaulted, victimized, beaten and manhandled all come into play when her picture was splashed onto TMZ's infamous website. I myself gasped; horribly amazed at the damage he did to the woman he has claimed was his girlfriend for over a year. Regardless of exactly what happened to have put both of them in the disappointing situation of violence and public scorn, she, it appears, is now the only bad guy. Yes, he did wrong. Yes, he obviously hurt her. But how awful of her to take him back. What a bad example of a woman to take a beater back into her life. Ugh she must not have learned. Really?! Is that what we do to victims? We suddenly make them the criminal and allow the true culprit, Brown, to escape the backlash he has brought upon himself? Understandably, I sympathize with Rihanna and absolutely wish her the very best under the circumstances and with everything she pursues; I believe this is also the intent of the public at large. Still, there are those who disguise their 'goodwill' under judgemental pretenses. Perhaps Rihanna should consider what truly occurred that night, assuming what it looks like happened actually happened, and let some time help heal her heart. Perhaps she should seek another outlet to give her space from her once-upon-a-time ex. Perhaps she could even let him suffer the physical consequences he has caused, and then some, and decided, based on his behavior and maturity, if he has grown and deserves her back. Perhaps. But this is her life...shes just living her life...and I personally wish people would just give her the space to do so. Thousands of abused women return to their alleged or convicted attackers, for various reasons, and while it hurts to see it happen, they never have thousands of perfect strangers telling them its wrong. Telling them they made a mistake. Telling them they must not have learned.How hurtful to someone who's already been hurt enough.

So Much To Do

Dear Blogging Gods -

Please forgive me for I have sinned. I have ignored my self-inflicted responsibility to keep 'you' in the know, and for that I am internally sorry. But, alas, let me make it up to you:

Life is in transition for me right now. Transition meaning, if I don't find a way to keep of with it, I will surely be left in the dust and that's no bueno at all. Between school, work, moving twice and saving, I am aghast at how the next 33 days will pan out and yet utterly excited to begin this really amazing point in my life. Or at least I hope it is. It could be on of those 'amazing points in peoples lives' that actually turns to bite them on their ass. But not me - I cant focus on that and for sure that ass biting sounds harsh. The next month or so will encompass several things: a mini vacation, moving twice (I'll explain), saving lots and lots of money (hmmm), going to a Broadway play, and all the while keeping the dueling balance of school 3 times a week, daily 9-5 work and a wonderful boyfriend (unless he runs for the hills before I do :-).

I am a persistent and evolving nomad by nature. It really isn't my fault, still, I haven't exactly tried to tone down my roaming tendencies. I currently have a roommate, who by all means, is a frugal tyrant. Eh, not so Fidel Castro, but if the position suddenly becomes open, she has my nomination. While she is a mother and living on subsidized income (a.k.a my rent is subsidizing her income), she insists on viewing me as a child comparable to her own 5-year old and not the (ahem) 21 yr old independent woman that I am. Insert 'the problem'. In light of that information, I have been looking for a new place to live since early December. Combine my nomadic ways with her...ways, and that equals a move to me. After a few interesting attempts, reliable sources close to me simply put it this way, "Stop moving in with strangers and try to live with someone you actually know". Insert 'novel idea'. My boyfriend was also looking for a place to escape the roommate sagas he was experiencing and thought we should simply move in together. We decided to do so and have finally found an apartment worth paying for, hence the saving. When I happily alerted my roommate, she was OK with the news; I would be moving at the end of March, so this was here 60+ days notice. Until 3 days later, she upped the ante by asking me to move in 30 days, at the end of February. UGH. So the first stage of this transition I am in involves moving a month earlier than planned in with my boyfriend, storing 90% of my belongings in storage, only to have to move again mid-March to our new, amazing Mecca some would simply call home.

Keeping all this in mind, my boyfriend is a twin. His brother and his girlfriend, who live in Atlanta, would like to come to Las Vegas with my beau and I when we go next week :-). This was all planned before the move(s) and will actually provide a good distraction from the intense relocating process. They are so much fun, and when my boyfriend and his brother are together...watch out because here comes the party. Thank goodness they are VERY taken men or I would fear for Las Vegas and their female residents. While the traveling couple is on the West Coast, we are going to see the Broadway hit, RENT, which I have permanently embedded in my

memory and if, for any reason, they too suddenly need to fill a position, I will nominate myself. So this is perhaps stage 2 in the transition and that's not necessarily where it ends.


Until May, I will be in my Spring semester of college. Until I'm 65 (HA-75 with this economy) I will be working a full-time job. Bleak outlook, I know, but reality. As I am writing this blog, I am ignoring at least 2 assignments that would be beneficial to my education. Supposedly. Actually, I find blogging quite educational and inspirational to my learning process; did I mention one of the assignments is in my online math class? UGH. While at work, I successfully manage to use that block of time to do what I'm not doing now, which is my homework. Clever, I know. It worked last semester; 4.0 (honest). However, it is a juggle and usually, I am mundanely taking notes while answering a 5-line phone I will soon be calling "my best friend" if our daily entourages keep up they way they are. Oh how I long for Fall of 2010 when I can transfer to Cal State LB and have even more work that I too will put off for blogging.
And so you see, Blogging Gods, how insanely busy I have been and will continue to be...but will duly make the strongest effort to do even less homework and instead, write, write and write. Until the keyboard runs for the hills too.

Amen

No, not like the city in Alaska

Im late, I know, but I finally saw it. Juno. The 'freaks and geeks' backwards fairytale of teenage love and the premature ejaculation of a child in their midsts. I had heard so much about the film that it is a wonder how I didnt rush to see it. But if I dwell on woulda, coulda, shouldas...It is truly a romance under the guise of a cynical teen drowning in the waters of an unplanned pregnancy, while trying to find ideal 'real' parents for her baby. The twist: her high school boyfriend truly loves her, even with the bun in the oven and the picturesque pickett-fence couple she finds have a few problems of their own.
Juno is ironic, funny, witty, and surprisingly realistic for a mainstream film. Oops! Almost forgot - the Diablo Cody screenplay started its avalanche into success at small indie film fests and grew. Alot. And happily so. I think this film says so much without saying anything at all: shit happens and life goes on and you arent shit for the shit that happens...your just normal. Whatever that is. I especially love how the character Juno was depicted; way too young to have a kid, but so smart, cool, and aware of the world around her and not stuck in a mall somewhere like Hollywood would have us all thinking. For the record, girls do more than shop ("What?! Shut cho mouth!"). Shes confident, not cocky, yet vulnerable and so young. At times you forget how young she is, until a scence places her in the backpack jungle of high school and, yep, your memory is jared. It is her youth that lets the pregnancy scream 'mistake' and 'do over'...if only it were that easy.

Love is Life...

11-4-2008

Today is perhaps the biggest day of the year for the US with the voting and subsequent election of the next American President. After almost twoyears of really smart banter and analysis, bad campaigning and nasty attacks, all that matters now is what the people want. The already seminal date of November 4th is finally here & while it is obvious that either Barack Obama or John McCain will be our Big Man in Charge, there are other very important issues on the table that haven't been so black and white (no pun intended).
When deciding on Prop 8, the decision that will decide if gay couples will gain the right to marry in California, I personally looked at the choices as 2 possibilities: discrimination or the natural freedoms allowed to usunder the Constitution written by our forefathers. True- no where in there will you ever find a single world about "let gays marry", but in not-so-fine-print we have the catchy line that all are created equal and have the right to the pursuit of happiness. Black, white, asian, male,female, young, old ­ you name it, its your right. So, keeping with that pattern, why would it be any different for people who also happen to be gay?Yes-­ exactly that; people who just happen to be gay. They are truly no different from the rest of us people who just happen to be straight; we all work, love, break laws, drive cars, eat at McDonalds. All the same. Yet now,because of what they do behind closed doors, they are literally being persecuted and segregated and not being allowed these fundamental rights.Are we proud to be in a country where the rules work for some but not all?Where we were once segregated by races and now by sexual preference? A lot of people think the worst part of Prop 8 is that our children will learn about gay marriage in school. While I do believe that this, and many other subjects, should remain untaught until the appropriate age (sexual education, violent wars, experimental science and genetics), what is wrong if, maturity willing, they learn about gay marriage and rights? It hasn't been too long since I was in school and having them learn about gay marriage is the least of your concerns. Children are constantly seeing our so-called "traditional" idea of marriage deteriorating: celebrities marrying for the fun of it, divorce up 50% & Vegas quickie marriages under the influence. For a time a "traditional" marriage didn't include different races, stepparents or stepchildren .Yet we try to stop any type of display of love, battling to be united forever. Teaching about gay rights and the progress we have made in our country's history wont suddenly turn our children gay, just like teaching about slavery or the Japanese internment camps of California will suddenly turn them into other races. What it will do, however is teach them that we, a country grown from freedom and perseverance, will always continue to correct ourselves and do what is right for our people. We did it with the Civil War, with Civil Rights and now with Prop 8.
Prop 4 has also caused some ruckus with its intent on allowing female minors to seek pre-natal health, and/or an abortion if wanted, without the consent of their parents. I see this proposition like a lot of people: I have never been in a situation where I haven't been able to go to my mother,or respected adult, for help, guidance or advice. Nothing that I would haveto experience completely by myself that would undoubtedly change the course of my life. And most certainly not while still having to go to school, and keep up my grades, and have friends, and do chores and all the normal things young teenagers do. Then again ­ a lot of people have had to do this. You hear all the time of young girls hiding their unintended pregnancy for months, failing school in the meantime, because they are so afraid of what their parents will do. If they will accept them, still love them, or shun them away to fend on their own. It's the stories in the news that we hearabout a baby in the dumpster, or found crying on the verge of death in an alley, left abandoned. While I don't see any excuse for leaving life to die,especially under such carelessness, I do believe that perhaps if these young women had choices that they could have made better ones. Never underestimate a person with choices, for they might surprise you when they make the right one. I would think most people come from the type of family that I am from, however, so many girls don't and need to have society look after them when their own families wont. Prop 4 will simply allow young women who have found themselves unexpectantly pregnant to seek health care from clincs,healthcare providers, or even their own physician without the consent of their parents. They will have the guidance of healthcare professionals who will provide the services that is best for the woman without judgment or criticism. See, theres nothing wrong with that.

Debi Joes & Foot Juice

I'm really upset. Actually, to be honest, I have calmed down since I was first involved in the situation however remembering all that happened conjours up some grrr-type feelings. I figured warning others of the possibility that they could put themselves in the same situation would be doing myself and others justice. Here it goes:
A week or so ago I decided to treak myself and my naturally fabulous hands & feet ( thanks mom) to a refreshing mani pedi. They werent looking like their usually fantastic selves and so needed so major TLC. Thus the nail shop visit. I typically go to the nail shop when I get my eyebrows and 'debi joe' done (I'll let you wonder what that is) and that day was no exception. So on my way out of the Indian threading place, I went directly next door to nail shop. Looking back, I should have seen the warning signs of an impending annoyance coming my way, but the bliss i was still in from the afore mentioned luxury was clouding my already prescription-based vision. I missed all the signs. I step in and casually let one of the hasty manicurist know that I would like a spa mani pedi (spa meaning that I would like the hi-tech massage chairs; a standard nowadays). She nods, and continues to go about scrubbing someones heels that appear to be in the same condition as my own. Trust me, I can just in time before it got bad. Alot of foreign chatter starts to commence for several minutes with half the nail shop speaking in some Asian dialect, which none of its patrons, including myself, understand at all. I go to pick out a nail color; my slight obsession with dark reds continues, and so I dont spend more than a minute picking out something very similar to what is already chipping on my digits. Sad, but Im a bit predictable. Anyways, I sit and without being let aware of my waiting status, continue to sit for over 10 minutes, just waiting for someone to tell me whats going on. Im not an impatient person, but I do think it would be nice to be let in on how long I should anticipate waiting. To me, not that much to ask for. To me. Still the foreign talk continues. Finally, almost 20 minutes after arriving I am sat in a spa chair with the blue-mint water beckoning my toesies already running. Ugh - way too cold. I turn to tell the lady and ask for hot water to balance out the frost; shes gone. I actually dont even see her at all. Vanished. Grr. So, with everyone else very busy, I sit with a cold half foot on the foot rest waiting (again) for someone to service me. About 5 minutes later, a lady realizes the water in the spa foot tub is about to overflow and comes over to turn it off and stares at me like "Why arent your feet in the water?". And with the universal language all women speak fluently with our body language and attitude, I stare right back like "Duh - the water is cold". Grr.
Fast forward to the simultaneous mani pedi work: When you get a mani pedi in the spa chair, you are being cheated. Point blank conned out of the full experience because they attempt to 'save you time' by doing both at the same time. HELLO - if i was looking to be rushed i would not have come to get my nails done. So exactly this happened with me: Both hands and feet were being done at the same time, one more half-ass than the other, but equal in annoying the crap out of me. On my feet the lady was barely scrubbing, barely clipping and not at all paying attention. On my hands she wasent even looking at my nails as she filed away, to my dismay, making my nails shorter than desired. Grrr. I call to both their attention that I am feeling very rushed and might as well be halfway out the door at the ridiculous speed they are working at. They simply nod. And the unknown dialect picks up big time. They are talking across the room, to each other, to other women working - its like a hen house. Naturally, I am very curious as to what they are talking about and can only assume that my recent plea for a 'spa' experience has sparked the freeway of conversation. My feet are given a quick once over of the usually 5+ minute massage, and my hands are tugged and dropped as they are simply lubricated with some cheap lotion - she doesnt even take the time to rub it in. I can actually see lotion just sitting on my arm. After trying very unsuccessfully to convince me to get a 'flower' design on my toes (aka an extra $5-10 charge on an iffy red dot with a rhinestone), she gives me a scowl as I insist on 2 clear coats of the shiny top coat. It prevents chipping; why wouldnt I want 2 instead of the measly 1? I ask the same of the hand lady as she is finishing up. So I am sitting there, freshly painted and desperately trying to enjoy the end of my quickie, when my feet are propped on this ledge. Why, when I am trying to dry, is my lower body being moved? ?I look down and the feet lady has come back with a gray dingy towel to clean the foot basin, which only involved running hot water and wiping it down with this awful towel. No cleaners. No products or fungus killing solutions - just the almighty power of plain 'ole OC tap water. I cringed so hard i felt myself actually grinding my teeth; my feet were just in that tub and if thats how she cleaned, I had just shared my foot juice with any and every woman that has gotten their toes done in that chair. I felt like my feet went through a one night stand and were now feeling the dirty guilty after thoughts. With a smile on her face, a totally separate third-person gave me my ticket for what I owed: $35, without tip (HA). I dug into my wallet, reached 2 $20's, got my change and fled that nail shop as if i had just seen a robbery and the gun man was letting everyone free. I didnt look back until I was already in my car.
The moral of the story: thanks mom for my naturally fabulous hands because they will NOT be seeing a nail shop this side of OC for...uh...ever!

You've Got Mail...Forreal

New day. New news.

I learned today about an...interesting website that allows people who think they may be infected with an STD to anonymously email theirs sexual partners to get tested. These 'warning' e-cards come in a variety of captions; some flirty like "Hey the other night was great but I think I may have given you a little something extra", to blunt like "I have this itch...you should get checked out". Ok so those aren't the exact captions, but I saw a few - they are pretty much on that line. The website was started by gay men in San Francisco and is now in 10 major states across the US. In fact, if you receive one of these lovely notifications, at the bottom of the card they provide a link to mapquest where the closet clinic is to you. How convenient, no? You can email casual partners or your primary partner; its anonymous email - do both. Its not like your paying for postage...
Personally I think this idea is genius in the way it allows people with the fear of embarrassment and guilt to still do the right thing and inform their partners of their sexual health; especially if there is a problem. I'll be honest: If I had to confront someone and tell them "Hey, so this crazy thing happened...and well, I think I have syphilis, so you should get checked out", I would be beyond mortified. Still, Im the last person to want to be ignorant about my sexual health and could never put someone else's life in my hands. Ever. Thats just not fair. But not everyone is always careful and responsible with all the wonderful assortment of protection we have available to us - men and women alike - so this website allows people to try to alert the booty calls and retify the already awkward situation. You can even email them at 2am, if that tends to be your normal 'operation' hours. If you really think about it, the best part of people informing people is that it may help avoid one of those nasty STD's getting to you. In fact, an email may save your life. Hmm...never thought of it like that huh?? The always applicable golden rule in life is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and to put that in 2008 terms for those of us who spend so much time texting we dont really know wtf unto actually means: "we need 2 tlk. I thnk sumthin mayb up N u nd to kno". Yes....much better.


...in case you need it... www.inspot.com