Moving On Up

I was reading a blog today from a woman who was asking, when, if ever, are you ready to move in with your significant other. The headline itself caught my eye, seeing that recently I (and my (significant other) have made that life changing decision.The article proposed the question of timing, how to deal with family concerns and if pursued, how do you not stagger in that level, but instead progress,perhaps into marriage, a family, etc. While I hadn't thought about all of these things to the extent the author had, they got me thinking about what did occur to me when my beau and I started to call the same place home.It sort of came as a proposition and ingenious idea all wrapped up in a hesitant question. After a year and a half of me driving to his place,living out of my large purses and slowly but steadily taking over the topright drawer of his dresser, we had become very very close and enamored witheach others company. In my own life I had moved 4 times throughout our relationship and always the helpful boyfriend, he thought all the moving wasinsane. True it was. After my family relocated to the east coast, I quickly moved out and in with one roommate near my family home. Things didn't workour and my roommate ended up relocated back up north, so of course, I had tomove. Fast forward 2 other roommates, and an increasingly annoying situationwith my then-current self-proclaimed 'mother' of a roommate and I was just about ready to trudge once more in my nomadic routine. We were sitting together one night, watching Family Guy and sprawled out along the couch when I was discussing the new room for rent sign I had seen earlier. The 'why are you moving again' look crept over his face and I took a deep breathe and prepped myself for the highly rehearsed, but very true, rote speech about how none of the places I had been living felt like a real home.Since my family left, I had never found a place that I felt could be my home and I could feel comfortable roaming around or inviting people over or even cook in the kitchen. Yes ­ my most recent roommate would not allow me to use the oven or the dishwasher and instead banished me to a circa 1900¹s toaster oven that would spark from the outlet when it became too hot ­ any temperature over 375 would do it. He would always see my plight and appease me by simply agreeing and urging me to move. After my one-woman monologue,we both sat in silence for a bit watching TV, and lying atop of his leg, I could feel him flinch. In my boyfriend, this is the sign of an emmerging idea. I have him a second, and like clockwork, he took a big gasp of air,and proceed with, "What do you think about living...together?". I was surprised. Elated, nervous, speechless, and excited also. This seemed right. The timing alone was perfect -­ he himself was in the infancy stages oflooking for a new place, without his messy roommate, since their lease was coming to a close. We both wanted to split expenses and have a cool,'grown-up' place to chill and hang out...why not live together? We left the conversation both pondering the what if's and why not's, but agreed that we would seriously consider the downside and even seek outside counsel­friends- for real life testimony. This was in January. By the middle of February, we were spending every other weekend looking at housing and weighing the pro's and con's of living in Huntington Beach vs. Irvine. We hadn't even fully committed to 'doing it' but it just sort of happened. I moved out of my kitchen-less living situation at the end of February and moved in with him the whole month of March. We found a place and set a moving date for the beginning of April. The place is great ­ bright, airy,tons of space and 2 bedrooms. Yes ­ 2 rooms; dual masters actually. This, I believe, is such a must and a luxury at the same time. We knew we wanted to be together and live together, but seeing as how I like to do my nails in bed while watching reruns of countless reality shows, while he dreams of basketball games in his boxers with cereal by his side, sharing a room for an indefinite period seemed overwhelming. I think it is the best thing for us. Our own space, own sanity, yet his 11 steps away (I have counted) and I'm next to him, in his bed, enjoying our home and us.So to answer the question of WHEN it is a good time to move in with your significant other ­ I don't know. After my whole speech, I still don't know. I do know that this is how it worked out for us and has been going well so far. Just be honest and open about how you live and the expectations you have for the whoever you leave with. Be patient and willing to give each other space. If you cant see yourself falling more in love with this person or wanting to know more and more about them, then moving in maybe a no go for you. Or as my mother told me, "its only a lease ­ 6-2 months tops. You don't like it, move out".