An Ode to Lil Boys

Typically, I enjoy writing about current events. Whats in the news, whats going on in the world or here at home behind the Orange Curtain. However, today, I would like to do something special. Something that has been on my mind and is becoming quite acceptable. I would like to write An Ode to Lil Boys...

No, no. I did not spell that wrong. No, no. You dont need to re-read it.
I meant Lil boys, not little boys.

See - there is a difference.

A BIG difference.

I should know - I have a Lil Boy.

Oddly enough, he is very tall. 6'1 in fact and seemingly grown in stature.
Hmmm.

So it is safe that one understand it isn't his size that makes him Lil.

No, no.

Rather, it is his mindset. His goals. (or lack thereof). His juvinile tendencies to throw tantrums and pout.

Yes, yes. Pout.

His inclination to hold out conversation when things dont go his way. His need to be needy, to be clingy, to want you to stifle your everything for his whims. His fault of unrecepricle attention.

Poor Lil Boys....

See - I am not a mother. Nor a full-time babysitter. And most certainly, I am not a grown-man sitter, whatever that is.

Yet I seem to have attracted a Lil Boy to my side...

I dont know what to do to send this Lil Boy home. Back where he came from. Back out of my life. Back to his momma...hopefully. Im sure she misses him dearly.

Maybe leave him a note: "Dear Lil Boy, We need to talk. I think you should go home."

Maybe text him: "Hey L.B - We nd 2 tlk 4 sure"

Maybe I will just call him: ring...ring...ring. "Hi, you've reached me. I'm not here right now..."

Not here. Not answering. Not responding. Not conversating.

Lil Boy, we need to have an adult conversation right away.

Dont misunderstand; I have fallen in love with my Lil Boy. He is sweet and charming. I adore his humor, his smile, and marvel at his gentle touch. There is a ton about him that is amazing.
Except he's changed...and

It's just...sometimes I think...

What I wouldn't do to trade this Lil Boy in for a Big Kid. For a Big Boy. For a Real Grown Man.
One who cares about me. Wants to truly protect and provide for me like he claims and most importantly, doesn't disrespect me.

Yes, yes. Not listening and caring IS disrespect.

And I would be there for him. I would love to take care of him, to cook him dinner and make him lunch. To leave him notes when he gets home that just say I Love You, and heres a reminder so you never forget. To fold his socks and find the one missing to complete the pair that has been M.I.A for weeks. To suprise him in nothing but a grin...

Sigh.
You can't expect these things from a Lil Boy...and I can't do these things for a Lil Boy.
So the search continues.

In the meantime - I will leave flyers and signs and pass out waivers to anyone I see looking lonely and in need of a playdate...
pssst.
I have a Lil Boy for sale.