2 Carry-on's

I'll be leaving soon, on a jet plane, and I cant take you with me. But thats not to say I havent tried. There is simply no more room in my luggage to fit you and our past inside.
This jet plane only allows two carry-on's: My present and my possibilities. And between me and you, its my future that's too big for these medium-sized bags. See traveling is something we had planned to do, 50/50; pack light, just write, and only leave the room involuntarily. But you missed the plane, missed the plan, and soon, I'll be leaving. Solo and excess baggage-free.
Im off to see the world from a me point of view. Everything I need is in these two bags, more C sans you. Sans Pariasian tables for two, and dual his-and-her towels; scratch the couples retreat, and the midnight love sounds. Oh, the sexy days of we...
My luggage is stuffed and Im not tryin to pay the extra fee to include you and our dirty drama in the plans Ive planned for me. Im going to get the best rooms because for me, I can afford it. Stay in Hong Kong or Rome, drink fine teas and roam, all because I adore it. I look forward to this but, you'd never be for it. Bohemian swag is not your thing after all....
I'll be leaving soon, and really, I cant take you with me. All those sexy days of we have finally produced an ending...let your closure mend me. I came from feelin so empty to now, forgiving myself for wasting time sniffling...and crying over the past and the baggage I cant take into forever. I need to find that place when I was happier then ever-I feel it nearing. But it's not to say I didnt try.

On my last day...

Today is my last day as the former me.
My last day as the golden age, yet my light is far from dimming.
The old me was fun but the party has just gotten started;
I'm past the bitsy mistakes and the advice ill forgotten
Over the trivial rivalries and the minor madness
Done with the drama of yesterday - literally- and the misunderstood sadness.
Ive since ceased my craving for all things juvenile, all the while
Keeping myself young at heart in a curious sort of style
I'm all about progress and the gaining thereof; success and finesse
Broadening my horizons and exchanging haters for the best
In love with life and how far Ive come
Now its really time for me to take reign of my kingdom:
Allow me to introduce myself because you've never met me before
Say I look familiar? Nope, i think your confused immensely, but Im willing to do another encore
Bubbly I may still be but dont mistake the curls for ditzy
Dewy eyed and cheeks dimply, nice to meet you; Im the 22 Christine
Ambition ceaseless - never ending - my blaze is bright; allow me to apply you with sunscreen
2010 Im on the scene, bringing more of me than you've ever seen...stay awake, let me grap you extra strength codine.
Take a seat inbetween...
the past and the future, the present is quite comfy
yes, allow me to blow whats left of you verbally
Onto the next one, that new ish, follow me...

Dirty Clarity

Everything surrounding me is dirty. Feels dirty, looks dirty, is tainted with filth. The smell in the air reeks of disgust and shame and the odor gets stronger and stronger with every second that passes by in this motionless place. I feel vulnerable to suffocation; even my air is polluted with the debris from the past, some how floating to the surface amongst the crude and scandal . So much mire hazes my morality, so I stumble, and suddenly the smut is on me. One smear that lingers and tarnishes my unsoiled name. A name that has transcended place after place without grazing the impure and yet it is here where your word vomit lands on my precious name. My identity. On me.
These are fighting words, and my gloves are on. But it hits me that to fight would be to touch you, and to risk more spillage of your spite on my hands...my chest...on me. I cant take that risk. One smear is enough and it alone will take time to repair. So surrounded by the loathsome fiction you preach and publish as fact, I step back. Not too far though; I just want to get a good look at you before you turn to the absolute shit that you are. I want to remember you this way; stinking and lying, leaving mounds of nonsense behind you. You have an unusual fetish for drama and complication; that too is rotting away at your character. So to you and yours, those like you and those who I have yet to meet that whisper tall tales with a false breath, I now and forever bid you adieu. I see now that Im too good for this place, to good for this mess, and when you aren't lying, I can actually hear the outside; its raining amnesty.
Hard, heavy and steady its graceful cascades turn to violent showers, gushing every ounce of clarity and purity it has onto any who seek it. I do. As it barely trickles onto you, I feel gallons on my head, my arms, my hands...cleaning away any sin and stumble I may have had for the sake of experience. For the sake of getting older, getting better, and one day not ever needing this mercy rain. One day I want to be everything you are not: I want to be wiser.

Mistaken for an Atlas of Love

Born simply of body and soul, I bear the burden of the world
Loves lost wages on my shoulder blades, I sigh
a million sighs from a million broken restless hearts
longing for a half that is steadily growing further apart
My burden is that of great Atlas, but heavier and more enchanted. Unable to break free from a punishment I never asked to be granted;
there was no clash of the gods, but rather pride had a fierce war of words.
My emotions clearly lost and the load of the latter is upon my back heaving
heavy...at times I feel like I've stopped breathing.
Yet Atlas was made for such a Herculean task, not I
with my own heartbreaking. Keeping apart not the Earth and the Sky
but instead Love and the Loveless. It's not something I'm not built
for -Im no god...
I feel what all beings do and that is lonely.
And any who has been lonely knows the cure all is indeed Love
but here I am, sentenced, like Atlas, to keep two belonging entities apart.
Doomed to be miserable unless they are together
Doomed to be miserable unless my other half is connected to it's whole. Still the future of Love is a task weighing heavy on me but one I can't abjur
I do it for myself, for the Loveless and all the hearts thereafter.
On the edge of hope I'll wait for the He to rescue me from it's rapture
To unload my hinderance, pull me from the edge and live like true lovers
happily ever after.

Celebrity

Pose, smile, pause for the camera.... I laugh.
They want scandal, but don't let them through, don't let them pass.
I'm a celebrity - your whispers are all about me
Look at my life through a screen like Im on TV
or silver screen, pretending like you know all just from what you see from afar. I'm bigger than life, don't try you can never be me; trick Ima star.
My name is in your mouth and you cant handle how tasty I be
Drama is what you seek; but my life is good, drama-free - I leave you empty.
Yearning for 411 on where I am or who I'm with, who said what or callin' me a bitch
But its ok cuz I'm a celebrity.
High on my horse because that's where you put me
You yourself hoisted me up when I was fine simply being C, yet still legendary
Never wanted this famed title, still you gave it and with me its fancy
My business is mine but for you it's all apart of the nosey industry
Chatter talk about what you heard; filling the blanks with fantasy
But now I'm tired of being your evening news at 6
Find another beauty who's life you can tell tales and mimic
Shift through my dirty laundry and find nonsense to nitpick
Like I said, my life ain't cha bi-ness
See me with bestsellers and columns with comments
Read about me in the papers when I write ish

Buy my books so I can sign this: To you, from me
xoxo Celebrity

Fresh

Your shadow over me looms heavy. Its overbearing
My hand shakes; it aint steady. Im not caring
about what you think or how you feel -
my grip is armed with steel; it's pet name is bic and I'm aimed to kill

Your hustlin your gums and I'm mentally running...across these lines
Smart like einstein, fierce like a feline, trust my fire isn't benign
I heard through the grapevine your nothin but a typical canine who's only aimin for my waistline
so in between my words and my jawline you get trapped. Your lustful offers imma decline

Me before may have quinched your thirst
Let you run game, pretend I never got hurt
Said all the right things and buried the real C in a hearst
Dimmed my light so that your supposed fight went heard
but...

Didn't they tell you? I want more now than your weak dollar signs
and those tired lines - independent woman with her own I can't be outshined
Your bling and obnoxious sheen don't make you beam in my eyes
Instead I'm squinting, turning my view to other allies

Do me a favor -don't do me no favors
Hold down your own, do your thing, I'll get at you later
Bring more to my plate than stank leftovers you remainder
I'm deep in success...let me live and let me savor