Yesterday I had a test...

Yesterday I had a test.
A test of faith, resilliance, and struggle;a test of will,if you will, to keep going. To keep believeing in myself against the doubt of others and my own deepest fears. He gave me a lesson in not succeding, a swift pop quiz in life's aches when your not acheiving. Dissapointment so raw and so real, I have to keep maintaining and breathing. And keep steady - 'this is a test Christine, are you ready?'. To hear 'no' when it sounds like a million doors closing over and over and over again. No (slam) we simply can't let you in. No (slam) we cant let you in. Slam,slam...no matter what I cant win.
But that was yesterday, so felt is more appropriate I should say. The lesson I learned spoke of the past and the difference between tomorrow. Let those past feelings die and not shape tomorrow's unknown. Trying hard to remember today is a blessed struggle, one that I should welcome with open arms and an open mind. But I cant accept today while always looking behind. Cant accept my future if these tests I do not pass; if I truly dont learn from them and make that lesson last. For life. God gives me these tests to help guide my way and guide my star...he means no harm. I would be the same 'ole same 'ole if my everyday went unchanged. He knows best that I cant wait to be better and his tests help to stregthen my endevor. And prepare me for a future so bright I will need him to lead my way - by the light and his Might I will never falter in my days. Lord knows, I need Him to help me always.

Yesterday I had a test. And today is another. But I will make it. Amen.