Portifino Train of Thought

I want to be the dream I see everyone else living
but Im too scared to get in it
Too afraid of a raid on my emotions limits
too afraid of rejection and its ugly hindrance
on my soul
too blind by a future with uninhibited ambitions
I cant control
Yes, Im self aware and though it isnt a bad beginning
it may be the beginning to a never ending self inflicted gimick
'Whats behind door #1?' - I dont know so I dont want to enter it
Im laughing at me and everyone else is so sure of my possibilities?
But they just dont get it
How can I delve into a sea of unsure realities?
'Live your dream' but whos to catch me if I dont land on my feet?
'Life's a bitch' in the same breath they speak - shit...your tellin me! Preach!
Of uncertain concerns and meandering earns - of a place and a space where no one tells me where to turn
How am I to know? There are so many roads to paradise, supposedly, but which way did you go
How did you make your happiness and what made you stop on this road
Trust, I see you
You take life by the wheel and with or without gas your goin all around the world
To places and faces and unfamiliar spaces where people dont know your name and could care less about you fame, supposedly, but to you its all the same
Your cool with this game
Life
And your winning in this level
Here
And your living it to the fullest
Now
My friend- I'd say your living the dream.
But right now...Im just trying to get in it...
Im on a portifino train and next stop is tomorrow
I'll see if I like it when I get there - who knows
I suppose I can keep going until I ride my way through to the otherside
where rainbows glow and my dreams vs realities collide
where happiness is what I make it not just what it seems
where I really am what everyone makes me out to be
C to the utmost and nothing less than supreme
These are just some thoughts I conceive
Wanderlust yearning from my core being
...I should probably stop pretending
Hazed vision of a future stop I think Im seeing
Could it be...maybe...
Always wanderlust yearning from my core being
I want to be the dream I see everyone living
Really, though, I should stop pretending.