Confusion is setting in. Deep.
Like the weather recently - with it's ominous clouds in the morning before the pm sun awakens - I am in a gloom.
Typically, I am not the person who reads their horoscope and actually believes it. That's like going to eat Chinese take out at midnight in downtown, and expecting the generic fortune cookie to describe your life. Not going to happen. However, even my cookie cutter astrological reading wouldn't have been more accurate if I had Diane Warwick and Ms. Cleo reading my sign personally.
Are the Aquarius's' under attack or is my life just really that under siege?
Regardless...things need to be cleared. My confusion and strained emotions and mental capacity really need rest. I need my afternoon sun - my mornings have been far to gray this late in June. I know what I want and its my cake with a huge fork to eat it too. I want my past and my future. Just not necessarily where they meet in the present. Can we have both? Can anyone truly have both, or am I, like others kidding myself with a cloud-less existence?
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Hills Are Alive
As an aspiring writer myself, I find it amazing when people accomplish their artistic goals. Sometimes they are seemingly intangible and so far from your reality, yet when you finally touch it, see it, or bear witness to the endearing fruits of your labor, it is a magical moment. Even my small and relatively insignificant triumphs have made me giddy with the possibility for more and my ears, eyes and hands are open like a 4 year old child wanting her Halloween candy. Gimmie, gimmie.
I want to be a writer.
On the flip side, it is a bit irritating and dare I say it, unfair, that people are given what so many others work for. What they work tirelessly for and sadly, may never achieve. Yes- I know this is the way of the world. Yes-"nobody said life is fair". Yes -life is what you make it, it's a box of chocolates and all that good stuff. A scenario like this where one is literally handed every prospect makes me think of Lauren Conrad and her Hills-saga of fortune and opportunity.
We all met the shy Cali-girl via Laguna Beach almost 5 years ago. Through MTV, we saw her life ravel and unravel on the shores and off the cliffs ofthe beautiful backdrops in her hometown, Laguna Beach. We were introduced to her boyfriends and her 'frenemies' and all the lovely people who filled up airtime on the reality show between vying for Stephan Colletti's attention and having immense drama with the young sassy Kristin Cavallai. Good times, good times.
We have stayed tune to her grow into a San Francesco College drop out, to a FEMA drop out, and to a fashion designer, um, in progress. Through it all, she has been resilient and young and continues to try things out until one of them is successful.One of those 'trys' is apparently being a writer. Excuse me, author. Recently she has released a book titled "L.A Candy" and is on a tour promoting her newest venture. Uninterestingly enough, it's about her. Or should I say, it's about a girl from out of town who moves to LA to be a fashion designer and ends up living her life on a reality show. Uh, hmmm...
Not only do I think this is super lame, but I feel like L.C (as all her BFF's and America affectionately call her) can really do better. I mean, she lives in one of the most interestingly seedy Mecca's in the US. I can imagine the endless scandals she has witnessed, the coked-out Hollywood starlets she's bumped into in the ladies room, or the hot guys who have made her their unsuccessful one-night stand target. Who slept with whom, who is a bitch in real life, and who is really as awesome as they appear. Earth to Lauren: THIS people will read.
Exhibit A: Superhead and her Video Vixen duo of revelations.
While this is in no way a knock to her trying and I would love to stand corrected if her books go flying off the shelves and into the laps of the NY Times Bestsellers List. However, I feel like this won't happen. If not for the simple fact that it is essentially about her and the gift and the curse of being a reality-based celebrity is that we know everything about you. Atl east enough not to have to read a fake book based on real life based on a weekly reality series based on fake scenarios and blank stares. I can't forget the epic blank stares. Good times, good times.
It is refreshing to see that L.C, after over 5 years on camera, has steeped out of the red flashing light of reality TV and is now available to make her own way in the world through her talent, good nature and trademark blonde waves and winged eyeliner. Simply my opinion, but I would say leave the "about me" endeavors behind and work on pioneering some new media to takeover. Give us 'aspiring' people a little bit of dream-room please.
I want to be a writer.
On the flip side, it is a bit irritating and dare I say it, unfair, that people are given what so many others work for. What they work tirelessly for and sadly, may never achieve. Yes- I know this is the way of the world. Yes-"nobody said life is fair". Yes -life is what you make it, it's a box of chocolates and all that good stuff. A scenario like this where one is literally handed every prospect makes me think of Lauren Conrad and her Hills-saga of fortune and opportunity.
We all met the shy Cali-girl via Laguna Beach almost 5 years ago. Through MTV, we saw her life ravel and unravel on the shores and off the cliffs ofthe beautiful backdrops in her hometown, Laguna Beach. We were introduced to her boyfriends and her 'frenemies' and all the lovely people who filled up airtime on the reality show between vying for Stephan Colletti's attention and having immense drama with the young sassy Kristin Cavallai. Good times, good times.
We have stayed tune to her grow into a San Francesco College drop out, to a FEMA drop out, and to a fashion designer, um, in progress. Through it all, she has been resilient and young and continues to try things out until one of them is successful.One of those 'trys' is apparently being a writer. Excuse me, author. Recently she has released a book titled "L.A Candy" and is on a tour promoting her newest venture. Uninterestingly enough, it's about her. Or should I say, it's about a girl from out of town who moves to LA to be a fashion designer and ends up living her life on a reality show. Uh, hmmm...
Not only do I think this is super lame, but I feel like L.C (as all her BFF's and America affectionately call her) can really do better. I mean, she lives in one of the most interestingly seedy Mecca's in the US. I can imagine the endless scandals she has witnessed, the coked-out Hollywood starlets she's bumped into in the ladies room, or the hot guys who have made her their unsuccessful one-night stand target. Who slept with whom, who is a bitch in real life, and who is really as awesome as they appear. Earth to Lauren: THIS people will read.
Exhibit A: Superhead and her Video Vixen duo of revelations.
While this is in no way a knock to her trying and I would love to stand corrected if her books go flying off the shelves and into the laps of the NY Times Bestsellers List. However, I feel like this won't happen. If not for the simple fact that it is essentially about her and the gift and the curse of being a reality-based celebrity is that we know everything about you. Atl east enough not to have to read a fake book based on real life based on a weekly reality series based on fake scenarios and blank stares. I can't forget the epic blank stares. Good times, good times.
It is refreshing to see that L.C, after over 5 years on camera, has steeped out of the red flashing light of reality TV and is now available to make her own way in the world through her talent, good nature and trademark blonde waves and winged eyeliner. Simply my opinion, but I would say leave the "about me" endeavors behind and work on pioneering some new media to takeover. Give us 'aspiring' people a little bit of dream-room please.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Lets keep this short and sweet
I want to get right to the point. Right to the heart of the matter. All up in the nitty gritty of the situation:
I'm OVER Twitter.
Now I say this with personal experience, and thus first hand disdain for the 'social network'.
I first 'tweaked' as just a way to be in-the-know with the latest Facebook/Myspace trilogy. Alas, it exhausted me and I felt like I had obtained another full-time job. Like a Giga-pet or Tamaguchi - don't pretend like you didn't have one. Basically, Twitter = maintenance.
And, i don't know about you...
But I don't particularly care about what Tila Tequila, or John Mayer, or Joe Blow from up the street or across the world is doing. At every moment of the day.
Not really.
Yes; chances are their life may be way different from your own. More exciting, more glamorous, more enticing. Maybe.
Because I don't know about you...
But how exciting, glamorous or enticing is it to be sitting in front of a computer waiting to be doing something so that you can update others on that something that you may - or may not - actually be doing. Worse yet...to wait for others to do something so that in turn, you will have something for yourself to do by reading about what they did?
Obviously I have thought this through.
There are undeniable pros: keeping really really in touch, trying to syncrinize your watches, or to finally learn if Lindsey Lohan is straight, bi or just plain crazy.
"I'll take just-plain-crazy for $500 Trebek."
Moral of the story: I don't have time to share, or time to care. Time is money and as usual, there's never enough of either.
I'm OVER Twitter.
Now I say this with personal experience, and thus first hand disdain for the 'social network'.
I first 'tweaked' as just a way to be in-the-know with the latest Facebook/Myspace trilogy. Alas, it exhausted me and I felt like I had obtained another full-time job. Like a Giga-pet or Tamaguchi - don't pretend like you didn't have one. Basically, Twitter = maintenance.
And, i don't know about you...
But I don't particularly care about what Tila Tequila, or John Mayer, or Joe Blow from up the street or across the world is doing. At every moment of the day.
Not really.
Yes; chances are their life may be way different from your own. More exciting, more glamorous, more enticing. Maybe.
Because I don't know about you...
But how exciting, glamorous or enticing is it to be sitting in front of a computer waiting to be doing something so that you can update others on that something that you may - or may not - actually be doing. Worse yet...to wait for others to do something so that in turn, you will have something for yourself to do by reading about what they did?
Obviously I have thought this through.
There are undeniable pros: keeping really really in touch, trying to syncrinize your watches, or to finally learn if Lindsey Lohan is straight, bi or just plain crazy.
"I'll take just-plain-crazy for $500 Trebek."
Moral of the story: I don't have time to share, or time to care. Time is money and as usual, there's never enough of either.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Just a little thought...
I don't make this up.
Desmond Hatchett, a man from Tennessee, has been hauled to court this week to face his 11 baby mommas.
And his 21 children.
At the ripe age of, oh, 29 years old, he has been able to on average, produce 4 children a year with these delusional women who for the most part knew of his other 'baby momma drama' and claimed they just "deal with it"? While he is employed, he works a minimum wage job. Since the State of TN can only force him to pay 50% of his gross wages, each mother typically makes out with barely a fraction of the actual costs of raising a child.
Or 2 or 3 or 4 of his children.
Its ok though; "usually when I ask he gives it to me" states one of the mothers when discussing how she makes do with so little, or sometimes no support at all. Whew!
Desmond claims he knows all the names and ages and birthdays of his large family that "just happened" and is avid that he will not be having any more children.
Although I am shocked, disgusted, and threw up a little in my mouth, I am not surprised by this. Ok I was a little, then the idea settled and now I think, 'Eh, typical'. I too come from an unplanned blessing and have discovered that this reality is not so uncommon. Nor are men who viciously and deliberately continue to have unprotected 'relations' with countless women. They create beautiful little beings only to (surprise!) realize that they neither afford financially or emotionally or mentally to care for them. Cue the classless epidemic of single motherhood. Cue the welfare lines and the children who will grow up asking "where's daddy?".
Don't get me wrong; I do not only blame him. Yes he is a sad excuse for a man and yes, society will continue to simply slap him on his wrist for the lifetime of damage to his children's self-worth, psyche and financial stability. Still, these women were no Mary's. How idiotic, ignorant and daft of these females to have SO many children with a man who can not provide? A man who is so busy just procreating that I find it hard to believe they ever saw him past ejaculation and his exit out the front door.
Did I mention he has a criminal history that spans 14 pages? So I stand corrected he had to squeeze in jail time too in-between all his babies.While I personally have no children, I cant help but to feel that it is in our female survival instincts to want to procreate with a man who is dreamy,and fun and appears to be great man, thus a great father. Oh yes, and have a decent job, a fabulous skill or useful hobby. Something they can bring to the table (or bedroom) besides endless supplies of sperm. Apparently I am asking too much. It says a lot about the self esteem of these women, and Desmond for that matter, that they continually brought these children into the world without a clue as to how or with what they planned to raise these kids. With such a blatant audacity as to state that since Desmond is incapable of 'providing' for his offspring, the state of TN should, how do you say, pick up the slack? For supporting 21 children through adulthood? Suppose they want to pursue college?
What does that say about our society that men find it manly and 'dominate' to have elaborate amounts of unprotected sex and nut up (no pun intended) when the obvious occurs? And how low have our feminine ideals become when we 'just deal' with a man who is no good, has nothing to offer in terms of love or commitment, and allow him to have children with us and 10 other women down the road? Unfortunately, the real losers in this situation are the children who will go without ballerina lessons or that field trip to the museum or a new pair of shoes when the old ones become worn because sufficient planning for their survival never occurred. They will become disadvantaged, beyond financially,when only mom is there to tame their curiosity or to teach them right from wrong, and how to be a good man and a respectable woman. They will learn the harsh realities of poverty and 'going without' and thinking they don't deserve the best simply because they cant afford it. They will perpetually ask "Where's daddy" and the unspoken truth that dad, and mom, made some bad choices and will be forced to leave that answer to cycle in the circle that has been continued with single parented children.
Desmond Hatchett, a man from Tennessee, has been hauled to court this week to face his 11 baby mommas.
And his 21 children.
At the ripe age of, oh, 29 years old, he has been able to on average, produce 4 children a year with these delusional women who for the most part knew of his other 'baby momma drama' and claimed they just "deal with it"? While he is employed, he works a minimum wage job. Since the State of TN can only force him to pay 50% of his gross wages, each mother typically makes out with barely a fraction of the actual costs of raising a child.
Or 2 or 3 or 4 of his children.
Its ok though; "usually when I ask he gives it to me" states one of the mothers when discussing how she makes do with so little, or sometimes no support at all. Whew!
Desmond claims he knows all the names and ages and birthdays of his large family that "just happened" and is avid that he will not be having any more children.
Although I am shocked, disgusted, and threw up a little in my mouth, I am not surprised by this. Ok I was a little, then the idea settled and now I think, 'Eh, typical'. I too come from an unplanned blessing and have discovered that this reality is not so uncommon. Nor are men who viciously and deliberately continue to have unprotected 'relations' with countless women. They create beautiful little beings only to (surprise!) realize that they neither afford financially or emotionally or mentally to care for them. Cue the classless epidemic of single motherhood. Cue the welfare lines and the children who will grow up asking "where's daddy?".
Don't get me wrong; I do not only blame him. Yes he is a sad excuse for a man and yes, society will continue to simply slap him on his wrist for the lifetime of damage to his children's self-worth, psyche and financial stability. Still, these women were no Mary's. How idiotic, ignorant and daft of these females to have SO many children with a man who can not provide? A man who is so busy just procreating that I find it hard to believe they ever saw him past ejaculation and his exit out the front door.
Did I mention he has a criminal history that spans 14 pages? So I stand corrected he had to squeeze in jail time too in-between all his babies.While I personally have no children, I cant help but to feel that it is in our female survival instincts to want to procreate with a man who is dreamy,and fun and appears to be great man, thus a great father. Oh yes, and have a decent job, a fabulous skill or useful hobby. Something they can bring to the table (or bedroom) besides endless supplies of sperm. Apparently I am asking too much. It says a lot about the self esteem of these women, and Desmond for that matter, that they continually brought these children into the world without a clue as to how or with what they planned to raise these kids. With such a blatant audacity as to state that since Desmond is incapable of 'providing' for his offspring, the state of TN should, how do you say, pick up the slack? For supporting 21 children through adulthood? Suppose they want to pursue college?
What does that say about our society that men find it manly and 'dominate' to have elaborate amounts of unprotected sex and nut up (no pun intended) when the obvious occurs? And how low have our feminine ideals become when we 'just deal' with a man who is no good, has nothing to offer in terms of love or commitment, and allow him to have children with us and 10 other women down the road? Unfortunately, the real losers in this situation are the children who will go without ballerina lessons or that field trip to the museum or a new pair of shoes when the old ones become worn because sufficient planning for their survival never occurred. They will become disadvantaged, beyond financially,when only mom is there to tame their curiosity or to teach them right from wrong, and how to be a good man and a respectable woman. They will learn the harsh realities of poverty and 'going without' and thinking they don't deserve the best simply because they cant afford it. They will perpetually ask "Where's daddy" and the unspoken truth that dad, and mom, made some bad choices and will be forced to leave that answer to cycle in the circle that has been continued with single parented children.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
isn't it ironic...dont you think?
The media strikes again.
I read today that some Americans (and the GOP cough cough) are upset that President Obama kept his promise to his wife to take her to a Broadway play once the Presidential race was over.
First, let me preface these following thoughts with the fact that I think marriage can be a beautiful and magical ideal and when done right, can make the world a better place through it's love.
Yet we live in a country where marriage only survives (yes, survives, like it's on the reality show in the middle of the Amazonian rainforest) 50% of the time. When that half does actually make it, they are rarely the picturesque love-filled, glowing blossom of light that Ive always dreamed of. Ive always seen on TV in those 80's and 90's sitcoms. In the way my parents were not.
True, reality does set in and makes 'being in love' more difficult than anyone can predict. It makes doing the little things for your other half unimportant and uneventful. It makes figuring out how to pay a bill on a wish and a prayer more of a priority than the person you pledged yourself to for rich or for poor. It makes us come home and cuddle with the couch and our cell phone and our big TVs and our laptops and our ridiculous gadgets, instead of making love and letting your problems just sit for a bit. They aren't going anywhere fast.
Still, that is no excuse for us; as people who love and want to be in love and want to give love and want to see love and want to feel loved. That is no excuse for the way we systematically ignore the welcomed duty of love. Especially making promises to your partner, supporting your partner and reflecting your happiness and bliss back onto your children, onto strangers,onto the world.
So why is it that when our President, who has continually displayed his undying love for his wife, goes out for a "date night" to NY does he get so much slack? Because GM is going bankrupt? Because our country can't balance a check book?
According to some groups, it was a waste of time and energy and focus for Obama to go to NY to have dinner and see a show as he promised to his wife, when the country is in financial turmoil. We've been going bankrupt, been in financial dissaray, been stuck without a pot to piss in. Obama having a night off to spend with the person he pledged his life to under God will not somehow deter him from guiding the free world. Why is it that the first President, in a very long time, who shows affection for his family and actually embodies what we Americans see our 'way' of family and life, gets ridiculed?
It didn't make Clinton loose focus (and we all know that was not his wifey)...
I read today that some Americans (and the GOP cough cough) are upset that President Obama kept his promise to his wife to take her to a Broadway play once the Presidential race was over.
First, let me preface these following thoughts with the fact that I think marriage can be a beautiful and magical ideal and when done right, can make the world a better place through it's love.
Yet we live in a country where marriage only survives (yes, survives, like it's on the reality show in the middle of the Amazonian rainforest) 50% of the time. When that half does actually make it, they are rarely the picturesque love-filled, glowing blossom of light that Ive always dreamed of. Ive always seen on TV in those 80's and 90's sitcoms. In the way my parents were not.
True, reality does set in and makes 'being in love' more difficult than anyone can predict. It makes doing the little things for your other half unimportant and uneventful. It makes figuring out how to pay a bill on a wish and a prayer more of a priority than the person you pledged yourself to for rich or for poor. It makes us come home and cuddle with the couch and our cell phone and our big TVs and our laptops and our ridiculous gadgets, instead of making love and letting your problems just sit for a bit. They aren't going anywhere fast.
Still, that is no excuse for us; as people who love and want to be in love and want to give love and want to see love and want to feel loved. That is no excuse for the way we systematically ignore the welcomed duty of love. Especially making promises to your partner, supporting your partner and reflecting your happiness and bliss back onto your children, onto strangers,onto the world.
So why is it that when our President, who has continually displayed his undying love for his wife, goes out for a "date night" to NY does he get so much slack? Because GM is going bankrupt? Because our country can't balance a check book?
According to some groups, it was a waste of time and energy and focus for Obama to go to NY to have dinner and see a show as he promised to his wife, when the country is in financial turmoil. We've been going bankrupt, been in financial dissaray, been stuck without a pot to piss in. Obama having a night off to spend with the person he pledged his life to under God will not somehow deter him from guiding the free world. Why is it that the first President, in a very long time, who shows affection for his family and actually embodies what we Americans see our 'way' of family and life, gets ridiculed?
It didn't make Clinton loose focus (and we all know that was not his wifey)...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
An Ode to Lil Boys
Typically, I enjoy writing about current events. Whats in the news, whats going on in the world or here at home behind the Orange Curtain. However, today, I would like to do something special. Something that has been on my mind and is becoming quite acceptable. I would like to write An Ode to Lil Boys...
No, no. I did not spell that wrong. No, no. You dont need to re-read it.
I meant Lil boys, not little boys.
See - there is a difference.
A BIG difference.
I should know - I have a Lil Boy.
Oddly enough, he is very tall. 6'1 in fact and seemingly grown in stature.
Hmmm.
So it is safe that one understand it isn't his size that makes him Lil.
Rather, it is his mindset. His goals. (or lack thereof). His juvinile tendencies to throw tantrums and pout.
His inclination to hold out conversation when things dont go his way. His need to be needy, to be clingy, to want you to stifle your everything for his whims. His fault of unrecepricle attention.
Poor Lil Boys....
See - I am not a mother. Nor a full-time babysitter. And most certainly, I am not a grown-man sitter, whatever that is.
Yet I seem to have attracted a Lil Boy to my side...
I dont know what to do to send this Lil Boy home. Back where he came from. Back out of my life. Back to his momma...hopefully. Im sure she misses him dearly.
Maybe leave him a note: "Dear Lil Boy, We need to talk. I think you should go home."
Maybe text him: "Hey L.B - We nd 2 tlk 4 sure"
Maybe I will just call him: ring...ring...ring. "Hi, you've reached me. I'm not here right now..."
Not here. Not answering. Not responding. Not conversating.
Lil Boy, we need to have an adult conversation right away.
Dont misunderstand; I have fallen in love with my Lil Boy. He is sweet and charming. I adore his humor, his smile, and marvel at his gentle touch. There is a ton about him that is amazing.
Except he's changed...and
It's just...sometimes I think...
What I wouldn't do to trade this Lil Boy in for a Big Kid. For a Big Boy. For a Real Grown Man.
One who cares about me. Wants to truly protect and provide for me like he claims and most importantly, doesn't disrespect me.
And I would be there for him. I would love to take care of him, to cook him dinner and make him lunch. To leave him notes when he gets home that just say I Love You, and heres a reminder so you never forget. To fold his socks and find the one missing to complete the pair that has been M.I.A for weeks. To suprise him in nothing but a grin...
Sigh.
You can't expect these things from a Lil Boy...and I can't do these things for a Lil Boy.
So the search continues.
In the meantime - I will leave flyers and signs and pass out waivers to anyone I see looking lonely and in need of a playdate...
pssst.
I have a Lil Boy for sale.
No, no. I did not spell that wrong. No, no. You dont need to re-read it.
I meant Lil boys, not little boys.
See - there is a difference.
A BIG difference.
I should know - I have a Lil Boy.
Oddly enough, he is very tall. 6'1 in fact and seemingly grown in stature.
Hmmm.
So it is safe that one understand it isn't his size that makes him Lil.
No, no.
Rather, it is his mindset. His goals. (or lack thereof). His juvinile tendencies to throw tantrums and pout.
Yes, yes. Pout.
His inclination to hold out conversation when things dont go his way. His need to be needy, to be clingy, to want you to stifle your everything for his whims. His fault of unrecepricle attention.
Poor Lil Boys....
See - I am not a mother. Nor a full-time babysitter. And most certainly, I am not a grown-man sitter, whatever that is.
Yet I seem to have attracted a Lil Boy to my side...
I dont know what to do to send this Lil Boy home. Back where he came from. Back out of my life. Back to his momma...hopefully. Im sure she misses him dearly.
Maybe leave him a note: "Dear Lil Boy, We need to talk. I think you should go home."
Maybe text him: "Hey L.B - We nd 2 tlk 4 sure"
Maybe I will just call him: ring...ring...ring. "Hi, you've reached me. I'm not here right now..."
Not here. Not answering. Not responding. Not conversating.
Lil Boy, we need to have an adult conversation right away.
Dont misunderstand; I have fallen in love with my Lil Boy. He is sweet and charming. I adore his humor, his smile, and marvel at his gentle touch. There is a ton about him that is amazing.
Except he's changed...and
It's just...sometimes I think...
What I wouldn't do to trade this Lil Boy in for a Big Kid. For a Big Boy. For a Real Grown Man.
One who cares about me. Wants to truly protect and provide for me like he claims and most importantly, doesn't disrespect me.
Yes, yes. Not listening and caring IS disrespect.
And I would be there for him. I would love to take care of him, to cook him dinner and make him lunch. To leave him notes when he gets home that just say I Love You, and heres a reminder so you never forget. To fold his socks and find the one missing to complete the pair that has been M.I.A for weeks. To suprise him in nothing but a grin...
Sigh.
You can't expect these things from a Lil Boy...and I can't do these things for a Lil Boy.
So the search continues.
In the meantime - I will leave flyers and signs and pass out waivers to anyone I see looking lonely and in need of a playdate...
pssst.
I have a Lil Boy for sale.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Greatness!
This SNL skit with Justin Timerlake and Cast regular Adam is amazing. Creativity like this should be shared...enjoy!
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